My "Thin Within" Journey

My name is Christina. I am married to my wonderful husband, Jon. We have been married for 15 fabulous years and have two children (okay they are better labelled tweens?). I have struggled with my weight since I was a teenager. To give some perspective to my weight, I am 5'6" tall. My highest weight was at the end of my first year of marriage: 205lbs. With increased exercise I was able to lose 8 lbs and then seemed to hit a brick wall, stopping at 197 lbs.

By the grace of God, in 1998 I discovered the "Weigh Down Diet" book by Gwen Shamblin and lost 50lbs (reaching 147lbs) in about 6 months, just prior to my first pregnancy. Unfortunately I was never focussed much on the spiritual aspect in the midst of losing weight but rather on simply the physical aspect of hunger/fullness. As a result I feel that I never quite reached the root of the problem.

I kept the weight off for about two years until my second pregnancy in 2001 at which time my weight began to steadily climb, reaching 175 lbs in Summer 2007. After the birth of my second child, 6 years ago, I have struggled desparately to surrender this area of my life to God and lose the excess weight. In November 2007 I stumbled across the "Thin Within" book and was absolutely blown away by the book. I lost a few pounds initially but then re-gained it during the Christmas 2007 season.

November 27, 2007 journal entry

This morning God spoke to me! During my morning walk, as I was praying, I saw a rainbow in the sky....not just any rainbow, just part of the rainbow sticking straight up into the sky with no arch. I was struck with the beauty of it, in the midst of the bitter cold morning and many feet of snow sparkling on the ground all around. I was fascinated by how it was just a partial rainbow and it was also such an unusual time of year to see one....I don't think I've ever seen one in the midst of winter. And then it struck me what God was saying to me.....

"being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Phil. 1:6

The partial rainbow is similar to how I am also God's work in progress. And I know that He's not done with me yet, but will finish the work He started in my heart. Praise God!

All glory be to God for the new thing He is doing!

173 lbs (November 2007~starting weight)
-1 lb (February 3, 2008)
-3 lbs (March 7)
-8 lbs (April 18)-11 lbs (May 3)
-17 lbs (June 6)
-19 lbs (June 27~in my bmi finally! PTL!)
-22 lbs (July 17)
149 lbs (August 30 2008~Released 24 lbs!)

Fall'08 - My weight seemed to fluctuate anywhere from 149 to 153 lbs, generally settling around 150/151 lbs.

January '09 - I'm struggling right now. My weight tends to be in the 153-155 lb range lately.

March/April '09 - weight fluctuates between 155-159lbs.

November'09 - 165lbs

*#'s based on my own home dial-style scale*

October '11 - 201lbs

It's hard to really capture the physical difference that releasing 24 pounds makes...let alone the spiritual and internal difference it makes :-) I'm really blown away by all that God has done thus far. I want all glory to go straight to God for all that He has done (and continues to do) in my life! What grace, mercy, love, tenderness, patience, power and faithfulness I have experienced! My heart is praising God.

“…being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Phil 1:6

October 2011

I'm back....once again. I don't really have much spare time in my life nowadays. However, I think I can spare a few minutes each day to reflect here. My weight has increased once again and I've now officially hit the 200 lb mark. *yikes* Scary to say the least! Though not a surprise as I've been slipping closer and closer to that mark over the past year.

Embarrassing. Feelings of shame and failure. Feelings of defeat. Feelings of the impossibility of making headway. And the list could go on and on.

God is doing so many awesome things in my heart and life right now. I'm so incredibly encouraged and excited about where God has been leading our family and ministry. And yet this one area (of gluttony and ultimately overweight) hangs over me....and feelings of doubt that God can help me gain victory over sin hangs over me. Yet I know this is not true. I know He can and will provide victory. I just must throw myself at His feet more and more and more until my heart begins to align with His heart. He will change me. He began a good work in me years and years and years earlier....and He will bring it to completion. I must trust Him.

So I am prompted to pray. Prompted to seek God. Prompted to wake up earlier each and every morning to draw near to my Savior. I'm not sure what this stretch of the journey is going to look like. I've been here before and left before I hardly got started. But this is a new stretch. A new day. A new start.